How to Improve Your Intimacy in Marriage

There are countless studies indicating that being in a healthy marriage is one of the best things that you can do for your well-being. That’s because knowing that someone is committed to being by your side (through thick and thin) helps to reduce stress and increase your overall health.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. However, that’s not to say that marriage doesn’t come with its own set of challenges. One of the main ones is finding ways to keep the “fire going” when it comes to intimacy. After all, even the most loving couples, can find themselves in a bit of a rut if they’re not careful. So, if you’re married (or even engaged) and you’d like a few tips that may help to maintain and improve marriage intimacy, here are a few tips to keep in mind.

Go on a Date

There’s a pretty good chance that you dated quite a bit before your wedding. And while the purpose was slightly different (i.e. getting to know one another better), dating is still necessary now—it’s a way to intentionally spend quality time with one another. So, whether you go to a favorite coffee shop before work, have a picnic at lunch, or go to dinner and a movie on the weekends, make sure you go on dates no less than a couple of times per month.

Get to Know Language of Love

Best-selling author Gary Chapman was certainly onto something when he penned the book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts.” If you’ve never checked it out, the basic premise is that there are five ways to express love: physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time and gifts. The key is to get to know your partner’s “top two” so that you can show them love in those ways. This is a book that every married couple should have in their collection.

The daily demands of life make it easy to take one another for granted, and if one or both of you is feeling unappreciated then these feelings can drive a wedge between you. To stay on top of keeping appreciation alive in your relationship, compile a list of the things that you love about one another and then put it can be seen daily (making you smile every time).

Plan Physical Relations

Yes, it might not be very spontaneous to plan physical intimacy, but you know what they say: if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. That said, a reported 20% of marriages are considered to be “sexless” (involve having physical intimacy less than 10 times per year). That’s not good, because it’s not only physically beneficial but emotionally necessary. It’s one of the most effective and profound ways to connect with your spouse and increase your marriages intimacy. Planning doesn’t mean just putting it on your calendar—it means finding sweet and emotional ways to convey the message “I want you. Let’s make this happen” (at least once a week, if possible).

Stay at Home Vacations Improve Intimacy

Only in the movies can someone whisk their partner off to an exotic island on the whim. That’s not to say that you can’t create your own little paradise at home, though. Whether it’s a night at a posh hotel, a quaint bed and breakfast or even making a pallet on the floor in your living room, staycations are awesome. It’s a time to refuel and reconnect.

Touchy Feely

One of the biggest complaints of a lot of wives is that their husbands are only intentionally affection when they want to engage in physical intimacy. Yet the reality is that if there is lots of non-sexual touching throughout the day, a woman will feel loved and consequently want to be physical more often. So, kiss one another on the hand, neck, forehead and cheek. Rub the others shoulder and back. Hold hands while taking a walk as the sun goes down. The more you touch, the better off both of you will be.

Keep the Love and Romance Alive

Marriage shouldn’t be the end of romance—it should simply be a new chapter of it. Be purposeful in finding ways to surprise your partner. Put a card in their briefcase or purse, cook them their favorite meal, or bring home some flowers and lingerie—just because. Toast the first date that you had, or the first time that you said “I love you.” Romance is a prelude to intimacy. The more you create of the former, the more the latter will follow.

How to Have a Happy Marriage

Are you searching for biblical ways to improve your marriage? Do the differences between you and your spouse frustrate you rather than fascinate you? Are you interested in what God has to say about intimacy in marriage in His Word? Would you like to rekindle intimacy in your marriage?

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Binding: Kindle Edition

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