Are You in Love with the Idea of Being in Love

You often expect that you will experience moments of being “swept off of your feet” but the truth is there will be times when your feet need to stand firmly on the ground so that you can focus on working to make any relationship last. Fantasies are nice and finding the person of your dreams is awesome, but real world relationships require effort and strong commitment.

A wise man once said “Men want the perfect woman, and that’s Playboy’s fault. Women want the perfect man, and that’s Disney’s fault.”  While you may not entirely agree with his claim, you can probably understand where he’s coming from. So many people want to be in a relationship based on what they see in the media, on the movie screen or what they read in romance novels.

So, how can you know if you really want to be in a loving relationship or if you’re simply “in love with love”?

Love on the Big Screen

When little girls say that they want to be Cinderella when they grow up, that’s understandable. A big part of the reason why is because they say “when they grow up.” Only celebrities and Disney characters have true love.  Fairy tales are literally defined as being “a story, usually for children” and “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief”. There’s nothing wrong with having a favorite childhood love story, romantic comedy or celebrity couple you admire. Just remember that fairy tales and (most) movies are based on fiction, and that you don’t know celebrities personally. Therefore, you should avoid using these things as measuring sticks for a real relationship. If you do, you’re probably more in love with love than anything else.

Love Doesn’t Require You to Work At It

When it comes to relationships, you think everyone else has to work at it but you. There are some people who roll their eyes (at least internally) when they hear someone say “relationships are a lot of work.” They think “not when you choose the right person!” but the reality is that even if you find a soul mate with whom you have a million things in common, there are going to be times when you disagree. There will also be times when the relationship hits a few bumps in the road or when one or both of you want more than what you are getting. No matter how “perfect” a love may be, it’s shared by imperfect people. Absolutely no one is an exception to this rule.

Unrealistic Love Expectations

One of the greatest challenges posed by programs like The Bachelor (and The Bachelorette) is that a handful of people are put in environments that make it pretty hard not to “fall in love” (or at least feel like you are). However, you’re probably going to ride in a car more than a plane (if ever a helicopter), you’re probably going to go on dates to the movies and not overseas, and a famous jeweler and television station will not foot the bill for the ring when it’s time to get engaged. In other words, if you want to be in a relationship not to share your life with someone but so that you can be “swept off of your feet”, you’re not only in love with love but also probably in for some pretty rude awakenings along the way.

Is There Any True Love for Me

What’s in it for me. There are a lot of people who are in some pretty unhappy relationships right now, solely because they are not putting as much effort into their relationship as they want the other person to. You can spot these kinds of folks a mile away. All you have to do is ask them something like “So, what did you do for your significant other on Valentine’s Day?” or “What are you going to get your special someone for Christmas?” If they look at you like you asked them in a foreign language and then they ramble on about what they want to receive, there’s a good chance that they are in relationships for what they can get. Giving in return is not even on their radar. People who are in love with love tend to be more into how the relationship will improve their lifestyle than how it will holistically benefit them and the other person.

How Long Will the Relationship Last

The relationship can only get so far before it ends. Have you ever wondered what happens after “and they lived happily ever after”? At some point, Snow White and Prince Charming are going to have a house to clean and children to raise. Laundry is going to need to get done and bills are going to have to be paid. If thinking about the day-to-day demands of a relationship make you want to hyperventilate, you’re probably in love with love. Remember, love is the foundation for a healthy relationship. At the same time, a lot more than love is required to sustain a relationship. If you’re not willing to do the work, every day, it’s best if you watch movies rather than expect a real person to play the role for you.

The Idea of Love

When a cluster of expatriate families converges on Provence, it seems as if sunshine, good wine, and an endless round of parties will make for a better life. Then Richard, a pharmaceutical salesman married to sexy Valérie, lands a plum assignment: introducing antidepressants into Africa, virgin territory for the drug industry and for the womanizing he has honed to a science. And idealistic Rachel finds herself Africa-bound too, in search of a little brother or sister for her daughter, Maud, and following some deeper longing she can’t seem to quell. For both Richard and Rachel, the excursions will lead them into their own private heart of darkness, and will bring shock waves home to their little Eden, unsettling the very idea of love.

Being in Love

What Is Love? In this thoughtful, provocative work, Osho—one of the most revolutionary thinkers of our time—challenges us to question what we think we know about love and opens us to the possibility of a love that is natural, fulfilling, and free of possessiveness and jealousy. With his characteristic wit, humor, and understanding, Osho dares us to resist the unhealthy relationship patterns we’ve learned from those around us, and to rediscover the meaning of love for ourselves.

Do You Feel Worthy of Love? – Jewish Business News

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Heartwarming Illustrations Show That Love Is Truly In The Small Things – Collective Evolution

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